For so many years I struggled to tell the people God put around me about my faith.
When I first gave my life to Christ (I’m not kidding when I say) you could not shut me up, I wanted to share my faith with everyone I met.
But as time went on I pulled away from conversations with people and I would tell myself;
“you’re just giving into fear”,
“you’ll get better at this as you learn more Bible verses and have better answers to people’s questions”
“I’ll do better next time…I promise!”
Only until very recently did I realise that all of the above were actually just excuses.
You want to know the real reason I struggled to share my faith?
Because I didn’t actually believe that I had something that other people would want!
I was saved but I was still held captive by my sin (and the guilt and consequences that came with it), I still felt that the Father was mad at me and constantly watching and waiting for me to slip up. I was so miserable and deflated (perhaps not at face value) and living the Christian life went very quickly from being fun and exciting-to being dull and very hard work.
How could I be excited enough to share what I believed other people needed when I could no longer see a real need for it myself?
Was the Christian life really worth sharing with people when it is such hard work?!
Then something happened to me.
I entered into a year of hell as I battled with the after effects of food poisoning and was left unable to eat food, vomiting for months and lost a great deal of time with my family and my friends.
I was stripped back to nothing. I had nothing to give, nothing to offer anyone.
My attempts to perform to please people were futile as people arrived at my home un-annouced to hoover, do my dishes, do the laundry and provide meals for my family-While I was laid out on the sofa, in my PJ’s with unwashed hair!
It was in that place that I cried out to God.
“Ok, I need you now like I’ve never needed you before. All this stuff I have known in my head has to make it’s way into my heart now or I’ll lose all hope and give up completely!”.
He didn’t let me down.
I turned to Him, I opened the Word and I stepped into something far deeper, more real than I had even known was possible.
I had a light bulb moment where I shifted from religion to relationship and it changed EVERYTHING!
I remember saying to my Pastor, “I’m not even sure if I was a Christian before all this!”.
I knew I was saved, but I didn’t really know my Saviour.
When I share my faith with people now, I do so because I KNOW that what I have is worth sharing.
I know that a relationship with Jesus is exactly what people need, that He really is the answer to all of our searching and all of our questions.
I couldn’t live a single day without Him now. Every day starts and ends with my eyes fixed on Him.
I need His Word now more than I need the oxygen I breathe-it is the blueprints for our walk with Him and we CANNOT be in relationship with Him without it! (Believe me, I tried!)
When your walk with God impacts your daily life, when you know His presence-even when you can’t feel it, when you know a joy more real than your circumstances and a peace that reigns even in the midst of your chaos; you WILL share the Gospel.
It will seep out of your pores in every conversation, every interaction, every smile you give as you walk down the street, you WILL diffuse the fragrance of Christ wherever you go.
When you believe in your heart that people will actually want what you have, you will want to share it with them.
My heart was so challenged by this revelation, it shifted and squirmed inside me like a kid who has been caught doing something they shouldn’t be. It kicked and tried to wriggle it’s way out of it but the truth is the truth weather we choose to let it change us, or not.
When somethings gotta give, it’s gotta give. And it usually feels uncomfortable and you’ll want to fight for your right to stay where you are; but I promise you, if your heart is stirring as you’ve read this post, don’t ignore it.
Choosing Him will always be a good idea and following as the Holy Spirit’s pulls on your Spirit is what will lead you into deeper intimacy and will ultimately change your whole life from the inside out.
Be encourage, inspired and (if need be), challenged as you read this in love.
And as always, please feel free to message me with any thoughts or questions you have on what I’ve shared.
I love you all so much and I’m so thankful to be surrounded by such brilliant and inspiring people.
One Girl and her Jesus x